Each 4th of the month has always been a reminder of the day I lost my son Jordan to suicide on December 4th, 2019. On this date, each month, we have turned on an illuminated star in the front bedroom at our home. On the anniversary this year, I took that star and placed it in the front room of Jordan’s now empty house in Leeds, as a thank you to his neighbors who have been incredibly supportive since that day – two of them were directly involved in attempting to save Jordan, sadly it was already too late.
#HopeForLifeUK Day
Several weeks ago, The Jordan Legacy CIC partner, Paul Vittles, asked me a question. He’d noticed how we marked each 4th of the month and how sad I and Jordan’s loved ones were at that time and said; “How would you feel if December 4th became a day of hope rather than sadness?” Instantly, every member of Jordan’s family, and myself, loved the idea!
On December 4th, 2021, we will hold our first officially recognized #HopeForLifeUK Day. On this day, and every December 4th thereafter, we will reflect on Jordan’s life and what happened, as always, but we will also mark this day as a moment in time where people can come together in Hope – hope that through The Jordan Legacy we can:
- Reduce the number of suicides which are increasing every year and provide people who are struggling with more reasons to want to live.
- All work together in our communities and workplaces so that we can support others and be supported by them when we are struggling.
- Find ways to improve our mental health systems, processes, and policies, so that those who have lost all hope don’t simply receive a 10-minute GP’s appointment and then are sent on their way with a prescription and a charity helpline number to call.
- Encourage more people to open up and talk and that we can begin to remove the stigma surrounding poor mental health, particularly amongst men.
- Positively impact on our children and their children, so they grow up believing in their own self-worth and the importance and value of their contribution in this world.
This list is what hope means to me but how about you, what does #HopeForLifeUK Day mean to you? Please leave a comment below and let me know.
Jordan was often known for giving hope to others – those he worked with and knew personally and even those he’d met for only the first time. #HopeForLifeUK Day will also be a way of re-enforcing my/our commitment to uplift those who are struggling with their mental health and give them hope and more reasons to live. #HopeForLifeUK Day is also about helping those bereaved by suicide so they can find ways to recover from their trauma and begin to rebuild meaningful and purposeful lives again.
Why we all need to take responsibility for the mental wellbeing of others
As we approach 9 months since the first National Lockdown in the UK, due to Coronavirus, we are now starting to see the impact on the mental wellbeing of those in our communities. In 2019 there were 5,691 registered deaths by suicide in England & Wales, equating to an average of 18 suicides per day and we are already beginning to see an increase in suicides as a result of the lockdowns, up by almost 2 percent since the March lockdown was introduced. Suicide is also the single biggest killer of men under the age of 45 in the country.
People are struggling right now and as the continuing pandemic and knee-jerk switching between Tier restrictions and national and regional lockdowns create increasing levels of anxiety, we need to come together more than ever to support the mental wellbeing of those close to us, as well as in our communities and workplaces.
In lieu of any clear strategic plan to bolster the mental health system by our politicians, I believe it is up to us to create a ground-up strategy, if we are to prevent more families finding themselves bereaved by suicide. In 2021, If you are uncertain what it must be like to be bereaved by suicide, I’d encourage you to read this report by Suicide Bereavement UK.
The Jordan Legacy CIC together with local communities and businesses can make that difference, we can provide people who are struggling with more reasons to live and we can and will save lives.
This article has been reprinted with permission from Steve Phillip’s Linkedin page.